Losing It

Darkness surrounded the boat. The silent Thames rocked it gently. The only sound was the feint patter of a light rain on the roof. No house lights, no street lights, no car lights could be seen, just the black night hiding the moon with its rain bearing clouds. I sat in my chair, eating warming vegetable stew, and staring out through the window, across the river, into the abyss of night.

Some people find it spooky out on the river on a dark night, but I love it. I feel safe on my boat and it is some of the most peaceful tranquil time to be had. There are no distractions, other than the blackness and the silence. I sat there for an hour or so. It is a good space to think in. I thought about mum, she never got to see the boat. I thought about dad, he would have loved it on the river. Last summer I had a vivid dream where he was on the boat with me. We talked for hours, I showed him how everything worked, and we had a beer together. I woke up the next morning feeling very happy; He has been gone a long time but I felt like I had spent a night with my dad, he got to see the boat. Mum is much more recent; I thought about the last meal we had together: sausage, mash, peas and onions. “I don’t want any gravy on mine” she had told me.

The evening was cooler than it had been previously and I thought about lighting a fire but it really wasn’t cold enough. A fleece did the trick, and the hot stew. I had cooked up a big pot of it on the Sunday. All kinds of veg: carrots, parsnips, turnips, onions, leeks, sweet potatoes, new potato, courgettes. I spiced it up with some fresh chilli, a few teeth of garlic, and a couple of Spanish chorizo sausages for that lovely paprika flavour. I chopped the veg into chunky bits and simmered the whole lot with some stock for an hour or so. Comfort food! It does warm you and helps to keep you healthy. Try it for yourself sometime (email me and I will send you a recipe if you want).

I need the healthy food right now. I need the energy and the goodness, because, believe it or not, I am on a diet and trying to get fitter. As part of this new regime I have taken up swimming. I bought myself a pair of Speedo goggles and a swim bag and signed up for access to the Oxford Brookes sports and leisure facilities. I have only been four time so far but am feeling better already. Twenty lengths I am doing at the moment. And, like the dark of the night on the boat, it too is a good place to think. My thoughts are different when swimming up and down the pool. I go into my zone, as Tiger would say, and concentrate on what I am doing. But I do also drift into thoughts of Special, work, friends, and food and things. Since I started dieting I have become a little preoccupied with food! In a week I have lost 4.4 lbs (round of applause from the Weight Watchers readers) but I have set a target where I only need to lose 1.6 lb per week. The slower it goes, the longer it stays off, or so they say. I really feel like I am losing it!